When I fail to really know Him

Para 3 – “To be learned and able to discuss the Trinity will get you nowhere if you do not have humility, and therefore displease the Holy Trinity. Lofty words neither save you nor make you a Saint; only a virtuous life makes you dear to God. It is better to experience contrition than to be able to define it.

“To be well versed in Scripture and all the sayings of philosophers will not profit you if you are without God’s love and His grace. ‘All things are vanity‘(Eccl 1:2). Nothing matters except to love God and to serve Him only. The height of wisdom is to set your goal on heaven by despising the world." Imitation of Christ - Thomas A Kempis

How many times have we failed Him? All of us can agree that the number of times can’t be counted for, and even worse, sometimes we remember the shameful acts that we just wished we’ve never done. This paragraph hits harder those who are called to the service of Preaching, and Teaching, especially those interested studying their Catholic Faith in the field of Theology - even those who are writers, especially of Christian music, and those who by their calling as Christians, become witnesses to the Truth. Blessed Thomas is calling us to recognize that humility is key to having an intimate relationship with the Trinity, and that if we know about Him, and know Him through prayer, we should know who God Truly is for us.

I remind myself as a coordinator of DHT that I am capable of failing my Lord when I think I am better then others, just because I study about God – because I teach and preach in circles, groups and classrooms, even in public places, or in a room with only 2 or 3 people – none of my knowledge of “what is God to and for us”, is going to save me. My thoughts and acts can put me away from God, hurting not only my relationship with God, but others, whom I should be an example for – there is no excuse for my actions or even the way I treat people. I am not imitating the one I love, hence I am a liar in the face of those who want to see Him. Could this be you as well?

I remember in a preaching of Fr. Larry Richards, called “The Truth”, he invited us to ask our friends and family, “Am I loving person?” Try it, but be careful, the answer you may get back may haunt you, or save you; depends if you are humble and willing to hear it. I hope I can be. I hope someone reading this can tell me, “John, you hurt me. John, you disrespected me. John, you lied to me. John, you treated me bad. John, you ignored me. John, when I needed you, you went to help someone else.” I hope I can tell you “I am sorry, please forgive me, and know that I love you. I thank you for being honest with me, and for setting me straight. I am weak, and I thank God you were there to tell me to change, to stop, to be different, to be Jesus for you.”

My knowledge of God is not perfect, only He is perfect, but my experience and desire in knowing Him should make my testimony REAL. Hence, if I fail someone, I should be free to surrender and ask for pardon, even asking for help to change, to get right with God.

It’s not easy to recognize your sin, your failures, your weaknesses, but it is easy when you have friends to help you – when you can see God’s hand working through the ones that love you and can put you back towards the Way. We should not be afraid to show others our weak side, even to cry in front of them. It helps them to understand the meaning of mercy and to be aware of their own weaknesses; anyone, including them, are capable of failure – even grave ones.

So if you are a student in theology, a religion teacher in an institute or a college, a catechist for youth or adults, a preacher, a song writer, singer, musician – make every effort to meditate on the words you are about to say. Does it really matter to you? Do the words you say also affect you? People really want to know if you believe what you say of your love for Jesus, and they can see if you are serious about living for the Lord.

Remember, Blessed Thomas tells us, “The height of wisdom is to set your goal on heaven by despising the world.” That means, do you despise the very spirit of the world that invites you to rebel, to go against your neighbor, to hate, to be unmerciful, to be arrogant, to be spiteful and destructive in your words and actions – to do everything opposite to what Christ commands you to be. If we can reject the spirit of the world, then we’re on our way towards Love.

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